Travel Restrictions

There are some good things about flying.

There are some good things about flying.

I’m just back from my rest and rejuvenation retreat in Portland, Oregon with my fellow Epic Fucking Badass mentees, and we had a beautiful time bonding over meditation and massages. It’s not every day that you meet more members of your tribe, but I just added another five to mine.

My husband and I stayed over a few days to explore the city, and I’m happy to report that we both loved it. I think he’s ready to pack up all the pets and just move on over, but I’m not so sure that I love rain THAT much.

The crappy part, though, is that we had to go through some airports to get there and back.

I travel a lot for work, but there are still some things that REALLY get to me. I can handle delays and taking off my shoes to walk over the nasty airport floor and airplane bathrooms. But I cannot handle airplane seats that lean back. I will know that I have truly achieved enlightenment when I can sit behind someone in an airplane and not get incredibly pissed when they lean their seat back into my face.

I know it is possible to lean your seat back in an airplane. But just because you CAN do something doesn’t necessarily mean that you should.

For instance, I CAN run up and down the aisle of the airplane naked, farting and yelling obscenities. But this sounds to me like a smelly and drafty endeavor, so I choose to remain in my seat, fully clothed, with some guy’s head in my lap instead, jabbing my knees into his back and violently snapping the seat pocket at random intervals.

I mean, just because something is possible doesn’t mean it is a good idea…

But we got through it. And then we got home, and there were clothes all over the bathroom floor, and I could hardly walk through it, and I started freaking out because I have a jam-packed day of work tomorrow while my body readjusts to Central time, and a huge paper due this weekend, and I got a bit overwhelmed.

My orchid.

My orchid.

But then, I realized: ORCHIDS. I have a plant that was nearly dead, but has decided it would like to keep living inside instead of in the compost pile, and it is beautiful.

So maybe we will get through all if this and come back to fly again. Hopefully without seats that lean back this time. . .

What kind of woman do I want to be?

lionpic

At the start of my EFBA mentorship, my mentor and I spent some time talking about what kind of year I wanted 2015 to be.

I told her about my 5 Core Desired Feelings (fierce, flow, radiant, luxurious, connection), and when she asked me to pick a word/phrase/motto of the year, I chose FIERCE, which I define as “powerful (full of might, strength) + clarity (the quality of being clear); commanding.”

When she asked me how I want to feel this year, what kind of woman I want to be, I said, “Like a mama lion.”

Because while my life is amazing, I’m not entirely thrilled with all of it. I’m tired most of the time, and I have this bad habit of working myself into burnout, of giving too much to everyone else and not sticking to my boundaries.

But I know for a fact that mama lions don’t put up with that stuff.

I had the amazing opportunity to go to Africa in 2014, and I got to see all kinds of animals—giraffes, rhinos, elephants, leopards (my favorite), water buffalo, hippos, etc.

sleepinglionsWe also saw quite a few lions, and they all pretty much looked like this. I learned that lions sleep 15-20 hours a day (so I think I might apply for that job when I’m done with the one I have now).

As we watched, they woke up for a few minutes, and I got to see them interact with other members of the pride; they were generally pretty affectionate, much like my sleepy kitties are with one another.

But everyone knows that you do not want to cross a lion. Lions might be expert resters, but their power is most evident when things need to get done (like hunting), or when someone crosses a line. The momma lion will let her cubs tug at her, she’ll let them play bite, but when this starts to get on her nerves or interfere with her sleeping, she’ll swat at them and go on (or just get up and walk away). She sets a boundary and rests in it.

Unlike me, who sets a boundary and then perseverates. “This is how it is,” I’ll say confidently, like I’m wearing my big girl pants.

And then I’ll go away and think, “OMG, did I set the boundary firmly enough? Did I say the right things? Maybe I was too firm. What if I hurt their feelings? Should I have been more clear? Because if they try to cross the line again, then it might be my fault. OH NO – what if they cross the line again? Clearly that will mean I am a failure. But more than THAT, we’ll have to have this direct and difficult conversation all over again, and I do NOT like conflict. Oh Lord, if I don’t get this right, I will end up alone and unloved, destitute in a van down by the river.” (Don’t ask me why it always ends there, it just does.)

So I would like to be more Mama Lion—more clarity and less agonizing.

To commemorate this, I dug a piece of art out of our guest room that I had bought for another purpose (long story) and took it up to my office. I know it’s not a MAMA lion (based on the mane it is probably more of a DADDY lion), but it still gets the job done.

I see the lion when I walk into my office, and when I’m sitting at my desk, the lion stares back at whoever’s in my guest chair, reminding us all that I am an Epic Fucking Badass.

2015: The Year of Playing Big

eIn my last post, I mentioned that I’ve started a year-long mentorship program to help me fulfill my goal of playing big.

And I’m PUMPED.

Let me introduce you to the Epic Fucking Badass (EFBA) Mentorship.

My mentor is a master certified life coach, grew up as a Missionary’s Kid, and has a blog I LOVE to read. I have a history of paying women to shepherd me along in my Woo-ness, and Anna is High Woo. A Priestess of Woo. Part of the Reformed Woo set. She leads with her gut, her intuition, but she still GETS STUFF DONE.

And she said my blog was “yummy.”

If you want to know more about the EFBA mentorship, you can read about it in one of Anna’s emails.

But if you’re not the clicking-through type, here’s an excerpt:

. . . It’s ALL RELATED. What you wear, how you handle your bills, how you show up in the boardroom, how you talk to your kids. My year-long EFBA Mentorship is the only coaching program I know where you can get support with ALL of it.

It changes EVERYTHING when you have something in place to catch you when you falter.  Someone who will hold the vision for you when you’re too tired or discouraged to do it for yourself.  Someone who pushes you to stick to the path you want– even when it’s hard– so that you GET where you want to go.

I still have never gotten a flaming message in the sky that said, “Hey Anna, you’re supposed to help people with their lives and run a thriving business and write a book! Here’s a grant and some childcare!”

Nope.  I declared it.  But then? There was another crucial step. I lined up the systems, structures, and accountability that would help me get where I wanted to go.  I continue to hire coaches, mentors, consultants. And I write scary checks that make sure I have skin in the game so I don’t walk away when it’s hard.

This year, I’ll talk to Anna every other week, spend some time with her other four mentees at a relaxation retreat and for some horse whispering, and rely on her to help keep me on track. Anna’s really into fierceness and luxury, so I think we’ll work well together.

I’m really hoping she’ll help me decipher what I most want to be when I grow up and help me map out how I might get there. I know that part of this will include sticking to my guns NOW so I can honor the intentions I set for the year.

That’s the foundation I’ll build on for whatever’s in my future (which, thank goodness, is something other than January).